Opinion vs. Counsel

Proverbs 19:20-21 (NIV)

²⁰ Listen to advice and accept discipline,
and at the end you will be counted among the wise.

²¹ Many are the plans in a person’s heart,
but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.

I wasn't sure what verse I was going to use to start this off, but I came across Prov 19:20-21 and felt it hit my point right on the nose. After my conversation with my parenting group last night and my blog writing this morning, God sent me on a deeper mission. He sent me searching for the difference between receiving someone's counsel and someone's opinion. Boy, oh boy! There is a huge difference in the two.

Webster's definition of Opinion:

a : a view, judgment, or appraisal formed in the mind about a particular matter

2

a : belief stronger than impression and less strong than positive knowledge b : a generally held view

Webster's Definition on Counsel:

a : advice given especially as a result of consultation b : a policy or plan of action or behavior

b : guarded thoughts or intentions

I then searched out Advise:

a : to give (someone) a recommendation about what should be done : to give advice to

2

: to give information or notice to

Which then led me to seek out the definition of Information:

: the communication or reception of knowledge or intelligence

2
a (1) : knowledge obtained from investigation, study, or instruction

Do you see the difference in receiving or giving advice versus opinion. Opinions are based off of a general view. To counsel is to give advice and advice is based off of information and knowledge. God did not instruct us to seek out people's opinions. His word says to "listen to advice" no where does it instruct us to go after the general opinions of others. We need to give and receive counsel that is based off of the guarded thoughts (Provs 4:23 addresses that) and knowledge of another and most importantly, we need to be sure it lines up with God's word. There is no question that wise counsel should line up with God's word.

2 Timothy 3:16 (NIV)

¹⁶ All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,

Even Webster tells us that an opinion lacks knowledge and counsel is based from information. Anything that is presented to you or that you present to another needs to be given the litmus test of those two definitions and most importantly God's word. If it doesn't pass as counsel, leave it at the door.

What Saith the Scripture?

Romans 4:3 (KJV)

³For what saith the scripture? Abraham believed God, and it was counted unto him for righteousness.

My husband and I tend to make some pretty "radical" decisions in regards to our family. We often don't parent like most. We tend to feel led to make the types of decisions that others shy away from. And our way of life tends to make waves (especially when we are following God's instructions).
Recently we felt led to make some very big, very life changing decisions and it came with a truck load of opinions. Almost everyone we know had one (some good and some bad), but a very select few were able to point there opinions back to scripture. We really only had about 4 out of an upwards number of 50 opinions come back and say, "well this is what God's Word says about what you are doing"
I had to come to the realization that many of the opinions formed were based neither off of facts or scripture, but ideas of what others felt they were incapable of handling, and because they didn't feel equipped to handle a call like ours, in their minds we automatically became incapable as well. God doesn't call everyone to do everything. And, we know for sure that our God led decisions are ones that we even feel ill-prepared to walk out, but God never called us to do anything in our flesh. There we some that felt strongly optimistic, but they again were confident in our ability not God's.
It's difficult not to take people's opinions personally and especially not to let them become your own, but one thing we all need to remember in any decision is "What saith the Scripture?" No opinion matters, even if it is your own and even if it is meant with good intentions, if it doesn't line up with the word of God. There is not one huge decision that we've made in the last 10-12 months that hasn't lined up with the Word of God, but they haven't necessarily lined up with personal opinion and ideas of society as a whole.

Psalm 1:1-6 (NIV)

¹ Blessed is the one
who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
or sit in the company of mockers,
² but whose delight is in the law of the LORD,
and who meditates on his law day and night.
³ That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
whatever they do prospers.

⁴ Not so the wicked!
They are like chaff
that the wind blows away.
⁵ Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

⁶ For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.

One thing we can say about the crazy decisions we make is that they work out for us. When we do what God says, our decisions have prospered. Ultimately, I want to be mindful that from here on out when I give an opinion on someone's life, I can back up what I have to say. Because my opinion doesn't matter if it doesn't line up with God. More importantly I like the way a friend of mine put it. "I'd value your opinion more if you gave it less."

Ecclesiastes 5:2-3 (NKJV)

² Do not be rash with your mouth,
And let not your heart utter anything hastily before God.
For God is in heaven, and you on earth;
Therefore let your words be few.
³ For a dream comes through much activity,
And a fool’s voice is known by his many words.

We all need to remember that more often than not, having an opinion does not automatically equal the right to express it. Just because something wouldn't work for you, doesn't mean it can't work. Don't have a fool's voice. God is dealing with them on the same level as you. Sometimes counsel is needed. Sometimes we need to give it when it isn't asked for. Sometimes we need to not give it, even if it is asked for. But be sure that it is counsel that you are giving when you do and not just opinion.