God's Face in Tragedy

I read a post basically spitting in the face of God and those that believe in him due to the tragedy suffered in Newtown, CT. I get it...believe me I do, because I would have a hard time seeing God in such a tragic and senseless situation. I've managed to discount him for much less, but living for him also gives me a perspective that can be difficult to fathom at times.
There are 2 things I've suffered as a mother that give me slight (extremely slight) insight as to what these families (more specifically mothers) are experiencing; loss and stripped security. Now I dare not say I can even truly get to the deep of what these families are facing. I absolutely positively cannot. So that alone will make my thoughts easy to dismiss for some, but hear me out even if you choose to toss aside all that I have to say.
In 2001 I found out I was pregnant in late October/early November time frame. But Christmas day 2001 I lost that baby. I had been trying for months to get pregnant and on that day my joy turned to pain. Although I became pregnant again a month and a half later or so, I carried the loss of that first child with me for many years, without ever realizing it.
For many years I couldn't stand the Christmas holiday, although it used to be my favorite. However, I never personally made that connection with that loss.
Fast forward about 6 years later where someone at a service I attended talked about a loss they suffered and how it took their joy from them. That was a true "aha" moment in my life. That is something I may have gone my entire life never recognizing but through someone else's experience I was able to alter something in my own life.
As a parent I also lost my sense of security around the time my son was 5. He attended a daycare where I was very familiar with the staff, some who I had pretty close personal relationships with and on occassion individuals watched my child outside of school hours/days. That sense of family and security was important to us because we are a military family and we believe in building a network in order to hold our own.
Well in my son's last year of preschool, when he had been at this facility almost 4 years, we found out he was being abused by his teacher. And after connecting a few dots, we realized it had been going on for years. I worked at this school for a year. So I was onsite and there is no way you could have told me my boy was in harms way, especially by a teacher who highly praised him and seemed to favor him.  As a person who trusted almost no one with the care of her child...to know that I not only paid these people to harm my child, but worked right alongside of them while they did it was upsetting and unsettling. It caused me to question a lot and stripped me of what little security I had in being able to judge others sense of love for my children. But that was all I lost...a baby I never knew and security I never really had anyway,so in no way are either of those comparisons to what happened in CT; not even close.
What I can say about those and many other situations is that in what seems like unfair or ungodly circumstances, God can use them. I have been able to share many pieces of my life with others and there are things in my life that have been horrible, but I can give those experiences to others in need when no one else can. When no one else seems to understand what they are going through, people often come to me for counsel, because they've seen me overcome my challenges and struggles. And they see me strongly persevering new ones. I can only attribute those moments to God being a major and intricate presence in my life. I have put God down and taken him for granted, but my life was more tormented then, than anytime when God came first. That's all I can give to people are my experiences and how God has worked them out for me or those around me.
I have witnessed a mother and son fight for their lives about 2 years apart. One of my best friends was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer a few years ago. As she battled and began conquering her illness, her son was diagnosed with leukemia. It was difficult to find God in her illness alone. Watching her have to fight at such a young age, compounded with other things going on in my life, I turned my back on God. But now I'm able to see how God can use situations like that to connect people.
First off her and her son have a deep and strong bond, because they can understand things about one another's experiences that no one can begin to understand. That little boy fought alongside his mother and 2 years later she fought alongside him (and is still fighting).
I believe God gave them such a unique journey to face as a whole family, because it would be difficult to not hear out their story and it not impact your heart...your faith. Situations like that put God on a new level for some who otherwise wouldn't experience him.
Yesterday's events (in CT and in China) were awful. We have 3 children here in our home and 1 waiting for us in China. So both tragedies were a bit much for our emotions to handle. I sat and watched news coverage of the CT massacre and only by chance did I get details about China. I held my babies a bit tighter. And my heart longed for the one that is waiting. But yesterday's events helped line up some thoughts for me as a parent. We get so caught up in the day to day, and forget how precious every second is. So hopefully more parents took time to be parents and not just survivors of everyday life. That's how God shows up in tragedy. You see your children and other loved ones with new eyes. The unimportant things stop being important. You slow your pace, instead of attempting to beat the clock. And after the darkness passes, things have a new glow and shine that you likely never noticed before, because you were too busy just passing through life.
I believe that God can use the experiences of these families to make an impact. To touch so many lives that may have gone untouched. I believe that at least some of these families will do things and become changers of the world around them because of the loss they feel today. They will do something great to honor their fallen. They will be that person in life that will understand your loss or struggle when no one else does. They will reach lives as someones, when prior to this they were just one of many lost in the crowd.
I believe God's heart broke yesterday as the blood of innocent people were shed, but I don't doubt that he can use this to spread far and wide messages of hope, love, community, faith, family, and peace that our world would have gone without if we hadn't had to mourn a day like that.
So how can God's face be seen in times of tragedy? Maybe it can't always be seen in the immediate. At least not to the those caught in the aftermath of loss, but I bet to those that had a chance to hug and love their child, spouse, mother, father, friend, sister, or brother last night could see it. I know I could!

Stepping into the Ring

First, let me start off by saying I know it has been a very long time since I have written anything. My life has turned into a tree with many branches and I am the nut that is hanging on for dear life. I have missed writing in so many ways, so I am glad that despite the cajillion other things I needed to be doing today, I finally answered God's prompting to sit down and write this piece.

God has been on my heart for a while about this subject and I prayed that he would give me some clarity on it yesterday. As I was sitting on Facebook a friend of mine posted something on my page. She had no clue about the prayer I prayed or even about the internal struggle I have battled with for quite some time. I wrote back in January about things God has placed on my heart concerning our political system. This morning I felt like God had given me the green light to write about some other things that I have felt like I needed to share for a long time.

This political season has been difficult for me because my values seemed to be at stake on both sides.  I am a Bible believing Christian.  I don't try to pick apart the Bible to make it fit my life. I adjust my life according to the knowledge I glean from God's word.  Over the years that has truly meant seeking out God for answers to questions I have had. Many of those questions being ones that people who know me today would be shocked that I had ever asked.

I believe in going to God's word for all my answers and knowing his word for.my.self., Unfortunately Christianity in this country is becoming more and more watered down, because as  a nation we have become content with being spoon fed our information...including God's word.  I've heard many Christians talk about their pastors not bringing forth God's word in a heavy fashion.  Although I believe that pastoring is definitely not a playground activity, Christianity is neither a spectator sport.

Our church leaders need to be willing to speak the truth in love (Eph 4:16) and boldness (2Tim1:7).  But, our Christians need to learn God's word for themselves (Prov 18:15, Prov 1:7, Prov 23:12, Col 2:2-4).  We also need to understand God's words as it applies to our leaders and our nation.  The biggest cry I hear is "separation of church and state," but I don't believe that to be Biblically possible. Understanding that as a body of believers may be the very thing to keep our nation from continuing to fall apart at the seams.

I do understand that this is all a part of the end times, but I don't think that knowledge gives us a free pass to just buckle down and succumb to it or be numb to it. This is part of our charge as Christians, to stand boldy in our faith and charge on in spite of the world around us (Romans 12:2). Now before you start hollering and getting all bent out of shape, look at this perspective. Historically speaking from Bible times all the way to the events leading to the pilgrimage to America, leaders that imposed a religion on the nation ("you must serve this or that God" have failed. But on the same token, when a nation's leader allowed his land to be devoid of morals God has allowed 2 things to generally happen...turn back to him or be destroyed.

I don't believe our leaders should impose a national religion of Christianity (because that worked so well for England), but our laws and leaders need to be of strong moral character and have a long term vision of prosperity (Deut 28:1-68).  That entire chapter is a good example of why leaders characters should be built from a strong foundation.  Combine that with Hosea 4:6, and we gain understanding of how lacking knowledge in God, as well as how that knowledge applies to us and our leaders can have severe consequences. Death can be brought about spiritually, physically, socially, mentally, and generationally, so it can stretch much further than the here and now.

God destroyed nations and leader because they thought they were bigger than him or exempt from his mandates, but he also gave them opportunities to turn back to him. Sodom and Gomorrah, Nineveh, King Nebuchadnezzar, and Saul are all examples of nations and leaders that did not keep God at the head, and they and their people suffered greatly. Some received the opportunity to redeem themselves with God post-destruction, some chose to do it at his warning, and others charged on in spite of his warnings and lost their chance to get it right.  I don't want to be a fallen nation before we choose to turn back to God's wisdom for us and I definitely don't want us to lose our chance altogether.

I also charge people to take the roles of national leaders into consideration.  The best leaders are actually servant-like in nature.  People like to bring up Jesus in politics to serve their point. Guess what? I am about to do the same.  Jesus was a servant leader.  He put himself below the ones he was called to lead.  So, what WOULDN'T Jesus do?  He wouldn't run his city, county, state, or country collecting a salary with several 0s at the end while the prosperity of the people he was called to serve completely fell apart. He wouldn't put policies in place that he was exempt from. We have allowed our leaders to step out of servant status and they now rule over the people who vote them into office. They ultimately make the decisions and then we are supposed to accept that.

I honestly believe that the entire system is failing us, not just one party or one leader over another. I have my ideas about certain things (such as the Electoral College....my vote can speak for itself, thank you very much). I believe public servants should have an average salary.  Not to say that they have to lack wealth to be a leader.  If they've built wealth prior to taking office, it's all well and good.  No one should be faulted for working hard and earning an honest living or being blessed by a family legacy. However, it is not my job as a member of this nation to line your pockets, while I live pay check to pay check. (I in general...not me specifically). I want you to desire to vote on decisions because my interests are of concern to you, not because your personal agenda and wallet depend on the vote you make. Public servants salary should not outweigh that of those who make daily sacrifices for our children, souls, safety, and freedom. Our teachers, police officers, military, spiritual leaders, an fire fighters all earn modest wages...I believe our public servants should do the same while in office. I don't expect you do to the job for nothing, but your integrity comes into questions when you get to fat cat it up on the dime of average hard working people.

I am not inclined to sway you one way or another. I am going to share the video link my friend sent me yesterday.  It does put many things into perspective that I am not sure I was even prepared for, but I am glad I watched it. I do recommend watching it all the way through, because you'll miss a lot by cutting it short.

My personal belief is that I currently have things I question about either candidate.  I love many things about my current president as a person and I am proud of things he has accomplished, but I am leery of his compromises as well. His heart may be in the right place, but execution has been off in some ways. I feel Mitt Romney lacks a true understanding of diversity. I could be wrong, but ultimately I feel that he will just be bringing different issues to the table. We will still be receiving poop packaged as chocolate from a political standpoint.

Clearly, I don't have this all figured out for myself, but what I do know over all is that a new president or the 2nd term of the one we have isn't actually going to solve our problem as a nation. We need to stand up, stand strong, and demand a new standard from our government.  But the first step to all of that is understanding what true leadership is supposed to look like. There are severe consequences for allowing our leaders to passively drive us out of God's will.

Redirection: Faith, Family, and Focus

Proverbs 31:10-31

New International Version (NIV)

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

^10 [a]A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
    and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Lately, God has been trying to put back into balance some things I have allowed to shift or put out of proper order.  My prayer life has not been as strong as I was hoping it would be, especially at this juncture in my faith, but I couldn't necessarily explain why. Recently I read a format for prayer somewhere (I can't remember where) that went like this: Praise, Repent, Ask, Yield. I chose to pray that way tonight and once I yielded I asked God to speak to me however he deemed suitable.  I then spent the next few hours in bed tossing and turning, going between being asleep and hearing bits and pieces from God.

He brought to my attention that he has been causing me to reevaluate some things about my life that really should have been addressed a long time ago.  I am a mother of 3 children and a wife, and those are some very demanding roles to take on.  But, I haven't given them the type of attention and command that I should have been.  Not to say that I am not good at either of those roles, because on most days, no one would be able to make that claim, but I have definitely been distracted.  Probably more distracted in those areas than any other in my life, because I felt like those roles would always be there.  But God is desiring that I now make a shift in faith, family, and focus.  Things that are culturally acceptable for the design of family and marriage can no longer be acceptable to me.  I've talked about being different and not following the lead of what is around me and I have done good, but I haven't excelled.  I haven't met the potential in that area that God is requiring of me. 

God was nudging me for a while to unplug, not just as a fast, but as a way of  being a mom and wife. It was no thing for my phone to ring or ding and I would chase it down.  There were times when I could say "let it wait" but, more often than not, it was my children, husband, or duties that I put on hold.  I would Facebook, text, blog, occasionally tweet, be on the phone for a friend in need or just to be in a state of conversation that wasn't me responding as mommy, email, Google searching any and everything,. You name it and I was doing it...on my phone. That didn't include the things I was also doing on the computer (well it did, but I was simultaneously on the phone usually in some manner. ) My son said to me one day when I was yesing and uh huhing him "are you listening to me or just pretending to listen to me?" I took notice of that and those words made an impact, but the true heart change came when I walked into my MOPS meeting the very next day and a blog post was read to the group on being a distracted parent.  The mom reading it suffered the same problems I did and the blogger had too. Please go read her post, especially if you are a mom...especially if you are a distracted mom. 


That was the true eye opener...I had to stop putting everyone else above my family, including myself.  Not to say that I didn't need to create some balance and find time for myself, but me time should be scheduled into my day, not the majority of it.  I began to unplug immediately and while I am not perfect at it...I am doing way better and noticing that it has changed the dynamic of my household.  My family is no longer competing with my friends and my phone for my attention.  I get way more done around the house and am able to be proactive versus being upset that the house isn't the way I want it.  It still isn't the way I want it most times, but with 3-5 people in it on most days at any given moment, it looks about right. It looks lived in, but it almost always company ready, which is something I have desired for my homes in years past, but have rarely been able to achieve.


This comes at a price, because people want me to still be the same available person I always have been, but I can't be.  My roles are shifting as they progressively have over the years, but this year is probably the most demanding of my mothering career.  I began homeschooling my son partway into the school year.  Making the adjustment to having him home again after being in daycare, preschool, private school, and public school was not easy. And I still acted as though my life was the same. Although we spent a lot of this year deschooling than working on academics I know some of my time could have been better spent much sooner if I was focused.  I am proud of what we accomplished, but I know I missed out by continuing to be disconnected.  


Now God is requiring that I step up and show out. I don't have to be connected to life 24/7. A phone call, email, or text can be returned when it is convenient for me.  My focus needs to be making sure my home is in order spiritually, physically, academically, and emotionally. And I have to accept that people may be upset that I am not giving them the time and attention that I once did, but If they have a problem with it, the problem does not lie with me.  


God wants me to press further into him for myself and for my family.  I have to find ways to stay strong spiritually and to be the best example to my children.  I am responsible not only for my soul, but theirs and the time I have to cultivate a standard is very limited.  My son is 9 and will go out into the world in 9 or so years with whatever we have prepared him with. I need to be sure that I am giving him the kind of impression I can be okay with him walking away with.  My window is a bit longer with my girls, but no less pressing or important. 


God called us to become a homeschooling family, which I was absolutely not prepared for.  Just weeks before I told my mentor that I was impressed by the fact that she did it ( I had just found out that her and several others I knew actually did it).  She told me it was something that all parents were equipped to do and I said it wasn't for me. Ha ha...there goes God with his sense of humor.  My son came to me about 2 weeks later asking to be homeschooled.  Not because he was aware of this conversation that I had, but because he felt he could get more out of his education if I were providing it. He had asked before, but I never considered it and had honestly been dismissive, but God had been setting the stage for that day.  My baby was advocating for his own education and was able to intelligently express why he desired a homeschool education over a public one.  Mommy definitely listened this time around. THAT is a big role to take on and seeing God's hand in it caused me to respond, but it requires that I stay connected with him so that I do what is best for my family.  We have been given a golden opportunity to be the biggest sphere of influence for our children and that is not a challenge I can take lightly. 
 
Proverbs 22:6

New International Version (NIV)

⁶ Start children off on the way they should go,
    and even when they are old they will not turn from it. 

 

 Deuteronomy 11:19

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁹ Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

We've discovered in the last year or so that we aren't being called to raise our children the way we were raised.  We are probably defying everything that we know as normal, so being distracted is not an option.  And it requires that we also stay in tune with one another as husband and wife. I have a role and a duty as a wife.  I have always loved the Prov 31 woman and have looked at her with awe, but God is showing me how that is an attainable state of being for me.  But SHE did not have time to deal with distractions, because she had to fulfill her role as wife and mother, as well as business owner.  Those are all roles that I play. 


Again, I am sure she spent time with her friends and had fun, but it was those were not her priority.  She made sure her house was in order, her business was well run, and she ministered to others.  Those are all areas where God is beginning to require a bit more from me.  I teach in the special needs ministry for my church once a month, but God is also desiring that I use my time to minster to other wives.  I am 31 and have been married almost half my life (I do find irony that God is calling me to Prov 31 Woman status at the age of 31 lol). That is a unique quality to bring to the table for wives my age. Most are still fairly new to the game so I have insight to offer.

Titus 2:3-5

New International Version (NIV)

³ Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. ⁴ Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, ⁵ to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

I have definitely covered for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, and in sickness and health, and there are wives out there who need someone with that experience because they need to see that it can be achieved with lots of prayer...and I mean LOTS. Marriage is about give and take, but it took me a long time to realize I had to be willing to give more than I took.  When I do things are better, because my husband naturally gives too.  But when I desire to take take take...he begins to fight for his take too. It's like working with magnets: they either come together or a forced apart. 


Our culture views a lot of what I do and say as archaic, but God hasn't changed his views on how to run a home, a marriage, or a family.  When I am not careful, I fall into the trap of thinking life everyone else and I suffer dearly for it. I have to be very intentional in how I conduct the manners of my household and I am learning (although it is uncomfortable) that I have to be willing to break a cycle that I have started.  I allowed the distractions to come in, I allowed people to have roles they weren't supposed to be assigned and carry weight they shouldn't carry, but God is saying enough. He needs me to put everything else on pause to complete that tasks he has assigned to me. 

 Jeremiah 29:11

New International Version (NIV)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Faith, Family, and Focus...I think that is my challenge in the remaining months of 2012. I can't balance anything else appropriately until those things have been worked out.  I know I still have quite the journey ahead of me. I am going to be interested to see how he grows me in this area.  God has definitely taken a new approach with me, normally there is a lot of painful pruning, but this time I don't feel we went through that process.  This was more of a series of eye opening situations that called me to get into view what he was seeing.  

Maybe this isn't the area where God is challenging you, but what is it that he is challenging you for? No matter if you are sure or not, I encourage you to Praise, Repent, Ask, and Yield.  Also pay attention to the messages he keeps sending your way. Almost everything I have heard or read in the past 2 months has led back to these 3 areas for me, which means God expects me to take them seriously. 

Giving up and Giving Life

Hebrews 13:1-5 AMP

LET LOVE for your fellow believers continue  and  be a fixed practice with you [never let it fail].  Do not forget  or  neglect  or  refuse to extend hospitality to strangers [in the brotherhood--being friendly, cordial, and gracious, sharing the comforts of your home and doing your part generously], for through it some have entertained angels without knowing it.   Remember those who are in prison as if you were their fellow prisoner, and those who are ill-treated, since you also are liable to bodily sufferings.  Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept undishonored); for God will judge  and  punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous.  Let your character  or  moral disposition be free from love of money [including greed, avarice, lust, and craving for earthly possessions] and be satisfied with your present [circumstances and with what you have]; for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you  nor  give you up  nor  leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor  forsake  nor  let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!]

Matthew 18:20 AMP

For wherever two or three are gathered (drawn together as My  followers) in (into) My name, there I AM in the midst of them.

Psalm 22:3-5 AMP

But You are holy, O You Who dwell in [the holy place where] the praises of Israel [are offered].  Our fathers trusted in You; they trusted (leaned on, relied on You, and were confident) and You delivered them.  They cried to You and were delivered; they trusted in, leaned on,  and  confidently relied on You, and were not ashamed  or  confounded  or  disappointed.

One thing that sets Christians apart from the world around us is our call to duty. Once we turn our life over to God and give him full reign we are assigned partnership with the Holy Spirit for some character changing exercises. Our nature is generally selfish and self-fulfilling, but our call through Christ causes us to work against those traits of humanity.

I have had my own personal struggle with that call and it`s taken years to find the balance. Even then...I fall off track when I don`t apply myself and keep my daily focus on God. I recently went through a spiritual drought. The original cause was me becoming hyper-focused on my wants, needs, and desires and not bothering with the idea that those may not line up with God`s plan. I even openly admitted that I knew God had a purpose for his way of things playing out in my life in a particular fashion, but my choices would have still been different from God`s. The result was my spirit becoming dry and thirsty.

I had spent a lot of time away and also got really sick, which kept me from fellowshipping with my church family and my actual family. One missed service or activity soon became several and before I knew it, I was feeling wiped out spiritually and it was dragging into other areas of my life. May productivity dwindled and I wasn`t focused on anything....especially God.

When I did step back into my church doors, y spirit truly breathed a sigh of relief. I actually became more thirsty for time with God until I began praying for God to recreate the balance. Once those things took place I was able to become grounded in my spiritual life again and God was able to open some doors he hadn`t previously, because I wasn`t prepared.

God desires us to stay connected with our fellow believers, to be life givers by stepping outside of ourselves and focusing on the needs of others, and to let go of our sinful desires. Our humanity allows us to justify and pacify our wrong doings. I am the first one to be honest in saying I have desired wrong things for easily justifiable reasons, but there comes a point when I have to acknowledge that no matter the reason, God can`t do much with me in the middle of a self-inflicted mess and he will sooner turn  me over to those things than allow me to believe he is going to do something good with my life in the midst of me blatantly disregarding his word and his desires for my life.

I thank God for his conviction and grace, because without it, I would lose every time. Satan desires for us to give up on life...the life God has planned for us. God desires us to give up and give life...so that we may live more abundantly.

Counter Attack on Faith

 
Hebrews 11:1-3 AMP

NOW FAITH is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed)
                of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see  and  the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real
                fact what is not revealed to the senses].  For by [faith--trust and holy fervor born of faith] the men of
                old had divine testimony borne to them  and  obtained a good
                report.  By faith we understand that the worlds [during the successive
                ages] were framed (fashioned, put in order, and equipped for their intended purpose)
                by the word of God, so that what we see was not made out of things which are
                visible.

John 20:26-29 ESV

Eight days later, his disciples were inside again, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you."  Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe."  Thomas answered him, "My Lord and my God!" Jesus said to him, "Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."
I was loosely engaged, recently, in a discussion (or better described as an attack) on the Christian faith. In this particular instance I chose to refrain, from defending the reason behind my faith and other believers, because in the moment, the more pressing issue was my friend's character coming under attack because he chose to take a stand and stick by it.
The issue in totality was that Amendment 1 was passed in our state, which defines marriage as 1 man and 1 woman. An immediate attack on Christianity and the people who walk under that covering was very blatant.
Anyone who voted yes or no, voted based off of a personal belief system, and what they felt was right. But Christians as a whole in the state of NC are now labeled a bunch of bigots, which is truly unfair. Standing by one's values and beliefs is not an act of bigotry, unless it is done with hateful and malicious intent.
I know plenty of individuals who voted yes, but they wouldn't treat a gay person in any less loving or kind manner than anyone else. They would never speak ill of them and they would likely come to the defense of someone under the attack of someone who is a true bigot.
Our faith and beliefs as Christians makes us no more likely to be hateful and nasty, as someone's sexual orientation would. In fact, if someone is truly walking in faith with God, they are going to be loving and kind, yet still stand up for what they believe in.
A statement was made that Christians mindlessly follow the flock. The act of walking in faith, believing in the word of God as inherent truth, going against your very nature and making choices that go against the mindset of the majority of your culture takes a alot of heart and mind.
Faith is defined as a "firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2) : complete trust". How can anyone mindlessly do that? Our nature and our culture thrives on proof  being a necessity. Having faith means you have to step outside your comfort zone and believe beyond anything tangible. As believers, our only "proof" is the way that God shows up in our lives through people and his miraculous actions. So Christianity is far from being a flock following activity, especially when our beliefs are constantly challenged by the world around us.
If you have a personal issue with how you've been treated by an individual group of Christians or 1 Christian in particular..I understand the resistance, but just like all whites, blacks, gays, straights, Jews, northerners, or southerners are not the same....neither are all Christians. Standing by our belief system is not hateful in and of itself, just like anyone else standing up for theirs is. The outward actions and words of an individual should define them, not their faith or orientation.
I will leave this Earth as a Bible believing Christian and you may not, but don't assume I or anyone else in my faith is a mindless bigot without being given a valid reason, and I will vow to be a loving, caring individual towards you, no matter if i agree with you or not. Disagreement should not equal hate, but unfortunately on both sides of the faith and orientation table, this is often the result.

Redirect

Jeremiah 29:11

New International Version (NIV)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Casting Crowns had a Facebook status a while back that said "If you think God is getting in your way, you're going the wrong way." It's a very small statement that packs a lot of power. How often do we feel that God is keeping us from something that we really want? I know it is something I have felt at different points in my life. I've been fortunate enough to have God allow me moments of experiential learning to see why his way is better. He's let me go down my chosen path and see why my way isn't the best. He has also given me opportunities to see the beauty in going against my nature and doing it his way. It can be the harder decision, but it comes with softer results.

Proverbs 3:6

Amplified Bible (AMP)

⁶In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.

For any parents (or aunts, uncles, or anyone that desires to be a parent, aunt, or uncle) do we direct our children to do things that will cause them intentional harm? Do we seek to do things that will make them miserable for the sake of doing so? Of course not! We give them directions in order to set them up for success, even if it means causing them a bit of immediate discomfort. But also as parents, we have to sometimes allow them to learn from their mistakes and be there with a bit of grace and mercy once they've messed things up.

God treats us the same way. He doesn't want to see us unnecessarily burdened, but that doesn't mean that doing things his way will be comfortable, however it will be more comfortable than trying to do things outside of proper order.

How often have you experienced seeing a path you could have taken and getting the opportunity to acknowledge why God closed that door? Those are some awesome moments.

I don't get joy out of seeing others not doing as well as they could have, but it is a blessing to see that when God has removed a person or a situation from my life, it is for my own good. Those are the times you begin to thank and praise God for unanswered prayers. If you feel like God is getting in your way, it's probably time to stop and ask for directions.

Lions, and Bears, and Giants....OH MY!!!!

Samuel 17:34-37 (NIV)

34 But David said to Saul, "Your servant has been keeping his father's sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, 35 I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. 36 Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. 37 The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine." Saul said to David, "Go, and the LORD be with you."

I've been praying about some things and reflecting on my life a lot over the past 2 weeks. I told my husband recently that I knew a God-shift was about to happen in our lives, because there is this feeling comes along right before the process begins. On January 15 I took on a challenge to stay focused on some key areas in my life and during this time God has revealed a lot to me.

One of the things he has shared during this time of revelation is that we all face lions, bears, and giants. More importantly, we face the lions and bears so that we can handle the giants. And equally as important, the giants that we face, eventually become the lions and bear of our past, as we go onto other giants.

If you are sucking air you are going to be faced with challenges...that is just a part of living. If you are a Christian you are going to be faced with some very trying challenges, that is just part of NOT serving the enemy. If satan has you in his grasps he can take a back seat to your perilous ride, because he really doesn't have anything to fight for. But when you are serving God, satan is now faced with the challenge of trying to get you to see things his way.

My personal testimony is full of lions, bears, and giants and my favorite part is the giants that are now just the lions and bears sprinkled about in the background. The prayers I prayed that I felt like God was simply not listening to. The struggles I faced emotionally, personally, and spiritually. All of the things in my life that create My Story.

But there are those things in our lives that will forever remain a giant, because they will always be that thing you will have to continue to pray through. My former giants are things like battling with depression. My emotions used to get the best of me and when they took a nose dive, I was no good to anyone. Especially when I faced the challenges that came along with being an 18, 19, and 20 year old wife and then throw in the fact that at 19 I moved to Germany (thousands of miles away from my family) . I had to learn some major coping and survival skills. Especially since my husband and I grew up in two totally different environments. I had a spiritual grounding that he didn't have and my family's problems weren't anything too terribly life damaging. My family was...functional (I used to say pretty normal, but if you've ever met them that statement makes you laugh. lol).

My emotional state was a lion or bear, but my husband's spiritual state will forever be a giant in my life. He's spent more years rejecting God, not overtly, but rejecting him nonetheless, than he has doing things his way. Look at my journals from the past 13 years and they pretty much look the same. I prayed for my husband's faith and it remained overall weak. On November 19, 2011 he dedicated his life to Christ, but that is an area of prayer I can never fall back on, because the spiritual demons attached to his personal and family history aren't going to just give up that easy. If I slack, they will do all they can to snatch him back.

My own faith walk has been a giant in my life. Especially my downward spiral in 2008. So many things happened ( I lost one of my cousins who I was very close to suddenly, one of my best friends who is only a few years older than myself was diagnosed with cancer, and a number of events led to financial issues for us, just to name a few). I had to overcome some huge hurdles spiritually and I thank God for the people he strategically placed in my life to pull me back into the right place. The lessons I learned during that struggle have prepared me to ride some bigger waves. Problems don't seem so huge now and when they do I just pray and tell God I will do what I can, but where my "I can" stops, he has to intervene. And, I've become a more joyful person in the process. My pastor once said "happiness is based off of what happens, but joy is in spite of what happens." I've learned to stop letting situations steal my joy. Some of the things that would have been giants in the past are now lions and bears that are preparing me for the day the giants show up.

I've heard people say, you can't have a TESTimony without a TEST. Your lions and bears are just the warmup for your giants (thanks for that husband). Don't miss the lesson, because on the other side of your giants there are amazing victories. The more giants you overcome, the more blessings God can lay before you (not just tangible ones). One of my former lions and bears was how I responded to my husband. I didn't respect him and often I didn't LIKE him (there is never a question of me loving someone, but liking them is what can be difficult). When I opened myself up to God in that area, he made some things happen and conquering that lion and bear has caused God to move in unthinkable ways. Remember my 13 year giant of praying for his faith-walk...that was conquered after God commanded me to make some changes in my life to combat my blatant lack of respect.

Be confident and prayerful about you lions, bears, and giants. They serve a purpose, ultimately for God. The crazy thing is conquering them really has nothing to do with our personal outcome, but how God will be able to use that victory so that others can see what he is capable of. People in close proximity have referred to our story as "out of the ashes experience". One blog is not enough to tell the story, but believe me...I know where the credit is due. God arranged some things so that others could have faith when troubles came their way. They know if God did it for me, he can do it for them too. Lions, and bears, and giants....BRING IT ON!!!!

Taking Control of our Nation

Isaiah 55:11

King James Version (KJV)

¹¹So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.

I've been feeling strongly compelled to pray over our nation. My husband and I were talking recently about the condition our country is in and how it seems that the majority of our leaders are more interested in partylines than the true concerns of the country as a whole. There seems to be less and less of a bi-partisan stance and more of a "we will be right or die trying" type of attitude. And the more corrupt individuals that get into power, the more jeopardy we will face. Our politicians are here to serve the people, but the attitude seems to genuinely be service of self. What decision will take "me" further, instead of what decision will take the country further...the people further.

Proverbs 29:2

Amplified Bible (AMP)

²When the [uncompromisingly] righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; but when the wicked man rules, the people groan and sigh.

Proverbs 29:4

Amplified Bible (AMP)

⁴The king by justice establishes the land, but he who exacts gifts and tribute overthrows it.

However, WE have the power to change all of that and our power doesn't come from what we know, what social circles we run in, or what college we graduated from. Our power comes from speaking words that were written long before our time here. I found some verses that I am going to place in my line of vision in order to speak them out. We don't have to come up with unique words of prayer. God promised his word would not return void, so let's send it back to him, gift wrapped in the sincerity of concern for our nation, it's state of being, and our leaders.

It's easy to feel powerless in little corner of the world, but our words carry a great amount of power and all you need is a mustard seed of faith to make things move.

Proverbs 11:14

Amplified Bible (AMP)

¹⁴Where no wise guidance is, the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.

Proverbs 20:28

Amplified Bible (AMP)

²⁸Loving-kindness and mercy, truth and faithfulness, preserve the king, and his throne is upheld by [the people's] loyalty.

Proverbs 21:1

Amplified Bible (AMP)

Proverbs 21

¹THE KING'S heart is in the hand of the Lord, as are the watercourses; He turns it whichever way He wills.

Proverbs 25:5

Amplified Bible (AMP)

⁵Take away the wicked from before the king, and his throne will be established in righteousness (moral and spiritual rectitude in every area and relation).

This kind of prayer is a tall order, not for God, but for us...because it's stretches us to believe beyond our ability to do. And it causes us to pray long...we have to pray over the leaders who will be in power for many years to come, because each set brings on it's own challenges. What the leaders in power do now, will effect what good or bad things are in place for our children later. So we aren't just praying for ourselves, we are praying for our kids.

I ask all of you to pray along with me to bring the change we all want to see and that we all complain about. Be a part of the solution to a nation in need of change.

Childlike Excellence

Originally I was just going to post about the difference between perfection and excellence, but my spirit has been holding strong to the concept of having childlike faith this week. I hadn't really merged the 2 ideas until last night as I was laying in bed.

This week I have been trying to spend some much needed time soaking up God's word. I was watching a DVRed episode of Enjoying Everyday Life and Joyce began preaching about having childlike faith.

Matthew 18:3-4

Amplified Bible (AMP)

³And said, Truly I say to you, unless you repent (change, turn about) and become like little children [trusting, lowly, loving, forgiving], you can never enter the kingdom of heaven [at all].

⁴Whoever will humble himself therefore and become like this little child [trusting, lowly, loving, forgiving] is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

She pointed out that when you tell a child something, they generally take you at your word. Even if you are dead wrong they will hang onto your words like gospel. So we as believers need to adopt their mentality and hang out to THE GOSPEL for what it is. Be doers as well as hearers. Hang on the very word of God and allow him to fulfill his promises.

The Amplified describes children as trusting, lowly, loving, and forgiving. As a mother of 3 I know that this is a pretty accurate description of their nature. My babies believe that if I have told them something, it is the truth and nothing else (which has caused me to have to be mindful even in my joking with them, but that is a topic for another day...it took my son quite some time to figure out that pregnant women did not eat a baby lol). We have to be bold in our proclamation of faith and be decisive that we are going to take God at his word and nothing else. If you don't know what God's promises are or you just need some direction check this page out. It give 10 verses of God's promises. If you want to look up God's promises in a topical fashion, check this page out. Grab your Bible, and a journal or some note cards, and begin to let God speak to you. We are facing a world where our faith can become weak almost instantly if we aren't sure about what God has in store for us.

I think about all the children in the world with little to hope for. They tend to hang on to an ounce of faith that things will become better for them. They hang on to that mustard seed that someone will be there to make things better.

Matthew 17:20

Amplified Bible (AMP)

²⁰He said to them, Because of the littleness of your faith [that is, your lack of ^[a]firmly relying trust]. For truly I say to you, if you have faith [^[b]that is living] like a grain of mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, Move from here to yonder place, and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you.

So even if you don't have much faith, hang on to it with that childlike grip...God can move a mountain with a mustard seed of faith.

This week I also spent some time thinking about the difference between perfection and excellence. I looked them up in The Webster's Dictionary and this is what I discovered.

Excellence: High quality

Perfection: 1. a quality or condition that cannot be improved. 2. The act if improving something so that it has no flaws. 3.Excellence or skill without flaw.

I personally avoid doing a lot of things out of fear of it not being perfect. When I was thinking about it this week Col 3:17 came to mind.

Colossians 3:17

Amplified Bible (AMP)

¹⁷And whatever you do [no matter what it is] in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus and in [dependence upon] His Person, giving praise to God the Father through Him.

God does not require perfection out of me. According to the definition of perfection it is absolutely impossible. We are imperfect people because of sin, so we can't be perfect. The only perfect person was Jesus Christ, his very nature was perfect. Our nature is flawed. Our connection to God is our saving grace from our own humanity. We will dink up things in life because our human nature will often slip through the cracks and mess up God's perfect hand in the situation. Be it big or small...our humanity and sinfulness fights for it's place over God's will and desires.

From a personal perspective, there will always be someone who can do it better, but even their way isn't perfect and perfection is not the goal...excellence is what we need to strive for. I want all that my hand to touch to have a high quality, but my high quality may vary at times. I try to be a friend of excellence, but I will not make anyone happy 100% of the time. I try to mother in excellence, but I have to be okay with making a mistake and learning how to move past it. I desire to be an excellent kids' church leader, but there are days that my 100% of excellence just isn't up to overall standard. With all of the strength I can give to any one area, I will give it all in excellence and leave the being perfect up to God.

I'm challenging myself and anyone who's eyes touch this...be boldly childlike in faith. Trust that God is looking out for you, even if you can't see it in the moment. Silver is made beautiful by fire and purification. The refiner knows the process is complete when he can see his reflection in the silver and he understands that exceeding the necessary degree, even slightly, will injure the silver. Trust God at his very word like our children trust in us. We as parents have to say no or not now, but we can see dangers or outcomes our children can't. God wants what is best for us.

When put our hands at things, stop seeking perfection. You'll fail every time, either by the world's standard or God's. Excellence is the key and keeps us connected to God. Excellence leaves room for God to make improvements in us.

Was this a merged thought? Not really sure! lol But, I hope it touches you in some way.