Proverbs 31:10-31
New International Version (NIV)
Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
10 [a]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Lately, God has been trying to put back into balance some things I have allowed to shift or put out of proper order. My prayer life has not been as strong as I was hoping it would be, especially at this juncture in my faith, but I couldn't necessarily explain why. Recently I read a format for prayer somewhere (I can't remember where) that went like this: Praise, Repent, Ask, Yield. I chose to pray that way tonight and once I yielded I asked God to speak to me however he deemed suitable. I then spent the next few hours in bed tossing and turning, going between being asleep and hearing bits and pieces from God.
He brought to my attention that he has been causing me to reevaluate some things about my life that really should have been addressed a long time ago. I am a mother of 3 children and a wife, and those are some very demanding roles to take on. But, I haven't given them the type of attention and command that I should have been. Not to say that I am not good at either of those roles, because on most days, no one would be able to make that claim, but I have definitely been distracted. Probably more distracted in those areas than any other in my life, because I felt like those roles would always be there. But God is desiring that I now make a shift in faith, family, and focus. Things that are culturally acceptable for the design of family and marriage can no longer be acceptable to me. I've talked about being different and not following the lead of what is around me and I have done good, but I haven't excelled. I haven't met the potential in that area that God is requiring of me.
God was nudging me for a while to unplug, not just as a fast, but as a way of being a mom and wife. It was no thing for my phone to ring or ding and I would chase it down. There were times when I could say "let it wait" but, more often than not, it was my children, husband, or duties that I put on hold. I would Facebook, text, blog, occasionally tweet, be on the phone for a friend in need or just to be in a state of conversation that wasn't me responding as mommy, email, Google searching any and everything,. You name it and I was doing it...on my phone. That didn't include the things I was also doing on the computer (well it did, but I was simultaneously on the phone usually in some manner. ) My son said to me one day when I was yesing and uh huhing him "are you listening to me or just pretending to listen to me?" I took notice of that and those words made an impact, but the true heart change came when I walked into my MOPS meeting the very next day and a blog post was read to the group on being a distracted parent. The mom reading it suffered the same problems I did and the blogger had too. Please go read her post, especially if you are a mom...especially if you are a distracted mom.
That was the true eye opener...I had to stop putting everyone else above my family, including myself. Not to say that I didn't need to create some balance and find time for myself, but me time should be scheduled into my day, not the majority of it. I began to unplug immediately and while I am not perfect at it...I am doing way better and noticing that it has changed the dynamic of my household. My family is no longer competing with my friends and my phone for my attention. I get way more done around the house and am able to be proactive versus being upset that the house isn't the way I want it. It still isn't the way I want it most times, but with 3-5 people in it on most days at any given moment, it looks about right. It looks lived in, but it almost always company ready, which is something I have desired for my homes in years past, but have rarely been able to achieve.
This comes at a price, because people want me to still be the same available person I always have been, but I can't be. My roles are shifting as they progressively have over the years, but this year is probably the most demanding of my mothering career. I began homeschooling my son partway into the school year. Making the adjustment to having him home again after being in daycare, preschool, private school, and public school was not easy. And I still acted as though my life was the same. Although we spent a lot of this year deschooling than working on academics I know some of my time could have been better spent much sooner if I was focused. I am proud of what we accomplished, but I know I missed out by continuing to be disconnected.
Now God is requiring that I step up and show out. I don't have to be connected to life 24/7. A phone call, email, or text can be returned when it is convenient for me. My focus needs to be making sure my home is in order spiritually, physically, academically, and emotionally. And I have to accept that people may be upset that I am not giving them the time and attention that I once did, but If they have a problem with it, the problem does not lie with me.
God wants me to press further into him for myself and for my family. I have to find ways to stay strong spiritually and to be the best example to my children. I am responsible not only for my soul, but theirs and the time I have to cultivate a standard is very limited. My son is 9 and will go out into the world in 9 or so years with whatever we have prepared him with. I need to be sure that I am giving him the kind of impression I can be okay with him walking away with. My window is a bit longer with my girls, but no less pressing or important.
God called us to become a homeschooling family, which I was absolutely not prepared for. Just weeks before I told my mentor that I was impressed by the fact that she did it ( I had just found out that her and several others I knew actually did it). She told me it was something that all parents were equipped to do and I said it wasn't for me. Ha ha...there goes God with his sense of humor. My son came to me about 2 weeks later asking to be homeschooled. Not because he was aware of this conversation that I had, but because he felt he could get more out of his education if I were providing it. He had asked before, but I never considered it and had honestly been dismissive, but God had been setting the stage for that day. My baby was advocating for his own education and was able to intelligently express why he desired a homeschool education over a public one. Mommy definitely listened this time around. THAT is a big role to take on and seeing God's hand in it caused me to respond, but it requires that I stay connected with him so that I do what is best for my family. We have been given a golden opportunity to be the biggest sphere of influence for our children and that is not a challenge I can take lightly.
Proverbs 22:6
6 Start children off on the way they should go,
and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
That was the true eye opener...I had to stop putting everyone else above my family, including myself. Not to say that I didn't need to create some balance and find time for myself, but me time should be scheduled into my day, not the majority of it. I began to unplug immediately and while I am not perfect at it...I am doing way better and noticing that it has changed the dynamic of my household. My family is no longer competing with my friends and my phone for my attention. I get way more done around the house and am able to be proactive versus being upset that the house isn't the way I want it. It still isn't the way I want it most times, but with 3-5 people in it on most days at any given moment, it looks about right. It looks lived in, but it almost always company ready, which is something I have desired for my homes in years past, but have rarely been able to achieve.
This comes at a price, because people want me to still be the same available person I always have been, but I can't be. My roles are shifting as they progressively have over the years, but this year is probably the most demanding of my mothering career. I began homeschooling my son partway into the school year. Making the adjustment to having him home again after being in daycare, preschool, private school, and public school was not easy. And I still acted as though my life was the same. Although we spent a lot of this year deschooling than working on academics I know some of my time could have been better spent much sooner if I was focused. I am proud of what we accomplished, but I know I missed out by continuing to be disconnected.
Now God is requiring that I step up and show out. I don't have to be connected to life 24/7. A phone call, email, or text can be returned when it is convenient for me. My focus needs to be making sure my home is in order spiritually, physically, academically, and emotionally. And I have to accept that people may be upset that I am not giving them the time and attention that I once did, but If they have a problem with it, the problem does not lie with me.
God wants me to press further into him for myself and for my family. I have to find ways to stay strong spiritually and to be the best example to my children. I am responsible not only for my soul, but theirs and the time I have to cultivate a standard is very limited. My son is 9 and will go out into the world in 9 or so years with whatever we have prepared him with. I need to be sure that I am giving him the kind of impression I can be okay with him walking away with. My window is a bit longer with my girls, but no less pressing or important.
God called us to become a homeschooling family, which I was absolutely not prepared for. Just weeks before I told my mentor that I was impressed by the fact that she did it ( I had just found out that her and several others I knew actually did it). She told me it was something that all parents were equipped to do and I said it wasn't for me. Ha ha...there goes God with his sense of humor. My son came to me about 2 weeks later asking to be homeschooled. Not because he was aware of this conversation that I had, but because he felt he could get more out of his education if I were providing it. He had asked before, but I never considered it and had honestly been dismissive, but God had been setting the stage for that day. My baby was advocating for his own education and was able to intelligently express why he desired a homeschool education over a public one. Mommy definitely listened this time around. THAT is a big role to take on and seeing God's hand in it caused me to respond, but it requires that I stay connected with him so that I do what is best for my family. We have been given a golden opportunity to be the biggest sphere of influence for our children and that is not a challenge I can take lightly.
Proverbs 22:6
New International Version (NIV)
and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
Deuteronomy 11:19
19 Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
We've discovered in the last year or so that we aren't being called to raise our children the way we were raised. We are probably defying everything that we know as normal, so being distracted is not an option. And it requires that we also stay in tune with one another as husband and wife. I have a role and a duty as a wife. I have always loved the Prov 31 woman and have looked at her with awe, but God is showing me how that is an attainable state of being for me. But SHE did not have time to deal with distractions, because she had to fulfill her role as wife and mother, as well as business owner. Those are all roles that I play.
Again, I am sure she spent time with her friends and had fun, but it was those were not her priority. She made sure her house was in order, her business was well run, and she ministered to others. Those are all areas where God is beginning to require a bit more from me. I teach in the special needs ministry for my church once a month, but God is also desiring that I use my time to minster to other wives. I am 31 and have been married almost half my life (I do find irony that God is calling me to Prov 31 Woman status at the age of 31 lol). That is a unique quality to bring to the table for wives my age. Most are still fairly new to the game so I have insight to offer.
Titus 2:3-5
3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
I have definitely covered for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, and in sickness and health, and there are wives out there who need someone with that experience because they need to see that it can be achieved with lots of prayer...and I mean LOTS. Marriage is about give and take, but it took me a long time to realize I had to be willing to give more than I took. When I do things are better, because my husband naturally gives too. But when I desire to take take take...he begins to fight for his take too. It's like working with magnets: they either come together or a forced apart.
Our culture views a lot of what I do and say as archaic, but God hasn't changed his views on how to run a home, a marriage, or a family. When I am not careful, I fall into the trap of thinking life everyone else and I suffer dearly for it. I have to be very intentional in how I conduct the manners of my household and I am learning (although it is uncomfortable) that I have to be willing to break a cycle that I have started. I allowed the distractions to come in, I allowed people to have roles they weren't supposed to be assigned and carry weight they shouldn't carry, but God is saying enough. He needs me to put everything else on pause to complete that tasks he has assigned to me.
Jeremiah 29:11
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Faith, Family, and Focus...I think that is my challenge in the remaining months of 2012. I can't balance anything else appropriately until those things have been worked out. I know I still have quite the journey ahead of me. I am going to be interested to see how he grows me in this area. God has definitely taken a new approach with me, normally there is a lot of painful pruning, but this time I don't feel we went through that process. This was more of a series of eye opening situations that called me to get into view what he was seeing.
Maybe this isn't the area where God is challenging you, but what is it that he is challenging you for? No matter if you are sure or not, I encourage you to Praise, Repent, Ask, and Yield. Also pay attention to the messages he keeps sending your way. Almost everything I have heard or read in the past 2 months has led back to these 3 areas for me, which means God expects me to take them seriously.
New International Version (NIV)
We've discovered in the last year or so that we aren't being called to raise our children the way we were raised. We are probably defying everything that we know as normal, so being distracted is not an option. And it requires that we also stay in tune with one another as husband and wife. I have a role and a duty as a wife. I have always loved the Prov 31 woman and have looked at her with awe, but God is showing me how that is an attainable state of being for me. But SHE did not have time to deal with distractions, because she had to fulfill her role as wife and mother, as well as business owner. Those are all roles that I play.
Again, I am sure she spent time with her friends and had fun, but it was those were not her priority. She made sure her house was in order, her business was well run, and she ministered to others. Those are all areas where God is beginning to require a bit more from me. I teach in the special needs ministry for my church once a month, but God is also desiring that I use my time to minster to other wives. I am 31 and have been married almost half my life (I do find irony that God is calling me to Prov 31 Woman status at the age of 31 lol). That is a unique quality to bring to the table for wives my age. Most are still fairly new to the game so I have insight to offer.
Titus 2:3-5
New International Version (NIV)
I have definitely covered for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, and in sickness and health, and there are wives out there who need someone with that experience because they need to see that it can be achieved with lots of prayer...and I mean LOTS. Marriage is about give and take, but it took me a long time to realize I had to be willing to give more than I took. When I do things are better, because my husband naturally gives too. But when I desire to take take take...he begins to fight for his take too. It's like working with magnets: they either come together or a forced apart.
Our culture views a lot of what I do and say as archaic, but God hasn't changed his views on how to run a home, a marriage, or a family. When I am not careful, I fall into the trap of thinking life everyone else and I suffer dearly for it. I have to be very intentional in how I conduct the manners of my household and I am learning (although it is uncomfortable) that I have to be willing to break a cycle that I have started. I allowed the distractions to come in, I allowed people to have roles they weren't supposed to be assigned and carry weight they shouldn't carry, but God is saying enough. He needs me to put everything else on pause to complete that tasks he has assigned to me.
Jeremiah 29:11
New International Version (NIV)
Faith, Family, and Focus...I think that is my challenge in the remaining months of 2012. I can't balance anything else appropriately until those things have been worked out. I know I still have quite the journey ahead of me. I am going to be interested to see how he grows me in this area. God has definitely taken a new approach with me, normally there is a lot of painful pruning, but this time I don't feel we went through that process. This was more of a series of eye opening situations that called me to get into view what he was seeing.
Maybe this isn't the area where God is challenging you, but what is it that he is challenging you for? No matter if you are sure or not, I encourage you to Praise, Repent, Ask, and Yield. Also pay attention to the messages he keeps sending your way. Almost everything I have heard or read in the past 2 months has led back to these 3 areas for me, which means God expects me to take them seriously.
