Matthew 7:25-27
New International Version (NIV)
25 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26 But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”
I wanted to start with Matthew 7:25-27 to illustrate that we are all going to face "storms" in life, so we have to be prepared to handle them. Those storms serve several purposes 1)To build our character, 2)To reflect our character, 3)To open our eyes to things around us, and 4)To send our eyes in the direction of God. I am sure there are more reason, but those are the ones I feel that help build my point today.
God uses life as a tool to build his kingdom. We often have to go through things in order to understand exactly who or where we don't want to be. With the negative messages we are constantly being sent by society to live for self, it becomes all too easy for us to be drawn into a messy way of living.
Personally speaking, I have gone down this road several times. I've allowed my thinking to become completely about how I feel, what I want, and poo on anyone else who thought I should feel differently. I had a moment the other day where I realized that the best times in my life have been when I put God at the center. I am able to think more clearly, move more slowly, and my decisions are considerate of others. When I begin to operate in the mindset that I can do things my way, it seems like life falls apart.
And I have to admit that it's often when these storms hit that my faith wavers. After a while God had to hit me with some bigger storms to get me back on track. I lost my cousin which was very difficult for me to understand. It was very unexpected and as strong as I thought my faith in God was...this time became a reflection of my character. It became a downward spiral from that point on.
We had our house broken into and our truck dumped by someone we trusted. One of my best friends received a stage 4 cancer diagnosis. We moved back to our home state with no real plan intact, which caused a whirlwind of financial troubles. By the time things even began to look up, I had given up on God's plan for my marriage. I figured at this rate, I could do it better or at least be happier on my own.
I'd be a liar if I said there weren't things I enjoyed about being on my own, but after a while God made it a point to redirect me. He made it very clear that I was on a destructive path that would not only effect me, but I was going to damage my 3 babies, and even my husband in the process. Not only that but continuing in the direction I was going was putting lives that I touched at risk. I intended to move on with my life, but God made it clear that I couldn't write a new book if the old one hadn't reached its final chapter.
Here began the pruning process. First he gave me a dream where I had to take a test. My husband was in the dream with me and he suggested that I follow him to get to the testing site. I told him no and proceeded on my own path. Needless to say, I never got to my destination in the dream because I didn't follow my husband, and ultimately I failed the test. I spent weeks crying...often times for no reason known to myself. God was telling me I had to do something I DIDN'T want to do. He was telling me to reconcile a marriage I saw no point in reconciling.
I eventually asked my husband to move back in, but I was very clear that it was God's will...not mine. Things happened in a slow progression, which God knew I needed because if I would have had to jump in with both feet, I would have been running for the hills. We talked and we talked...AND WE TALKED, but things didn't necessarily get any better.
Zechariah 13:9
New International Version (NIV)
9 This third I will put into the fire;
I will refine them like silver
and test them like gold.
They will call on my name
and I will answer them;
I will say, ‘They are my people,’
and they will say, ‘The LORD is our God.’”
I finally had a conversation with God that started a fire. I let him know very verbally and clearly (like I had made everyone else aware) that I was not at all interested in making this marriage work, so if he was going to force me in this situation, he was going to have to also force some things to change. I was not a willing participant by any means, and I even prayed that God would just find a way to make it not work so I could go on with my life. But, if it were his will to push the issue, then change is what I really needed.
He began to refine and test the mess out of me....literally. I wish I could recall the exact moment of change, but I honestly can't. I guess God felt it was more beneficial to my story, for the transition to happen so smoothly it was almost unnoticeable. He worked on me, which in turn I believe worked on my husband.
Around my birthday was a big test that I think changed a lot of things. My husband hadn't really acknowledged my birthday and I was upset to say the least. Especially when he bought something for himself and expected me to be excited about it. It was not a pretty site around here and self kicked in urging me to remember this come birthday time for him and see if he felt differently about his initial response if it happened to him. (Yes, my mind got that petty and my friends didn't help, because the agreed with my mind. lol) However, God said it wasn't going to go down like that. His birthday hasn't come yet, but maybe in a month I can blog about what I came up with.
Then spiritually speaking, God had to begin to breakdown things I was holding my husband accountable for that he couldn't really responsible for. I wanted him to be a leader in his home, spiritually and physically, yet I never let him lead physically and spiritually he never had any examples. His home growing up was very different from mine. My mother was pretty much the spiritual head in our home and we were raised according to her beliefs. My dad worked a lot (which is one thing my husband and I had in common), but he did at least go to church with us and he believes in God.
My husband's mother took them to church and like me he attended private school, but there was no real expectation to apply the bible to everyday life. I knew from a young age that God had a calling on my life and I was raised accordingly. My husband was surrounded by God's word, but never expected to really live it. And to top it off, the head of his home didn't believe in God. So, we were at an impasse. How does a man become the leader in his home, when he really has never been shown how to lead, physically or spiritually? Well, only God could answer that and he apparently was going to give the answer to me.
I had to first soften my heart and understand that he didn't do the spiritual things because he didn't know how. I also had to acknowledge that he didn't do the physical things because I didn't let him. I spent more time being right than I did being still. God really had to break me down and pruning quickly turned to burning in order for me to get a character adjustment.
He used this situation for me to begin to lean consistently on him again. Throughout the 2 or so years I struggled with my life and faith, God had proven himself faithful to me and he waited patiently for me to return to him. I know I had to go through those things in order to know where I didn't want to be and definitely WHO I didn't want to be.
Once I was able to clear those things up, God was able to produce useful fruit. My attitude changed, my home changed, and I had hope that I had completely lost.
Galatians 5:13-26
New International Version (NIV)
Life by the Spirit
13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh[a]; rather, serve one another humbly in love. 14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”[b] 15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever[c] you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
I had to let go of myself and let God direct me to a place where I could have love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, genuine goodness, , faithfulness, humility, and self-control. Light and dark cannot occupy the same space at the same time and neither can God's fruit and my mess. He began to show me what changes I could make (like leading the family in devotions) and then eventually my husband began to take the lead in those areas. When I sat back and let him make decisions instead of forcing mine, he was able to lead with freedom, and not worry about how I would respond.
Is it more work to do it God's way...absolutely, I have to be conscious about what I say and do, how it will effect others, and how God will feel about the choices I make, but the destructive way I was going before wasn't even really self-serving, because no one desires to destroy themselves. Satan was the only one winning when I went about things that way.
There are 2 messages I am trying to deliver here. 1)God uses things in our lives in order to prune us, build our character, and make us better for his calling on our lives. When we are able to see things God's way it paints an entirely different picture for how to proceed, but we have to be open to his perception and desire (or at least be honest with him when we can't).
2)) No matter what direction our lives take we are building a foundation for the storms that will come. My pastor has a phrase that I think paints an amazing picture and turns the light bulb on. "The winds will blow, the rain will fall, the floods will rise and you have to live in the house you've built." What kind of foundation are you building to weather the storms?
The one I had previously been building was only going to continue to crack and fall apart, and eventually tumble to the ground (if it hadn't already). I want to make sure that I am building a foundation that is going to hold strong during the next storm, because it's not a matter of if, but when it comes. Thankfully God was willing to burn me down to the root when pruning wasn't getting the job done and he allowed me to establish a new foundation that has been weatherproofed.
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