Today's challenge would have been easy if I had windows in my kitchen, but I don't....so I opted to finally fold some over due laundry instead. Needless to say, 4 hours and about 6 baskets later, I wish I would have had a window or two to wash. That would have taken way less time. :D However, I am glad to finally be getting caught up on the laundry that has fallen by the wayside from countless weekends of business and weekdays trying to recover from the weekends.
My room which once looked like it was a war zone, was really just full of laundry baskets. That was the majority of what was overtaking my room. (In my defense, we did need a new dresser and to purchase more hangers. 2 tasks which I accomplished this week).
The other challenge was to prioritize my life. What were the 6 most important things in my life and how did I plan to attend to those things. I did come up with my 6, but I think I want to rearrange the order they are currently in. I think I may want to take an extra step as well and make a printout of them to hang on my fridge. It's one thing to write them down in a notebook, but I can actually work towards my goals if I can see them in plain view.
Tomorrow is a new day and it's the one I've actually been waiting for. I was excited when reading ahead about what day 6 will bring. I can't wait to write tomorrow once I finish my tasks.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Romancing your Children
Okay, I promised that as soon as I got something good I would post an actual bloggy blog and not just a tracker of my 31 Days progress. Well, here it is...
My friend Dionne and I were talking last night, and I've had this discussion with others in the past. We as parents need to "date" our children. We need to model true romance, before they become interested in it. We don't just put them on bikes and expect them to know how to ride. We don't put them behind the wheel of a car and just say "hey, have at it!" We don't just send them outside and have them cross the street. We practice those things with them. So why do we leave dating up to chance? The reality is that most of our parents did it that way, and most of theirs possibly did too. But, the generations get equally wiser (with technology) and dumber (with common sense) all at the same time, which means parents have to become more diligent in their work, not be passive.
I want to spend time taking my son out, teaching him how to open doors (which he already does), and pull out chairs. I want him to understand the things a woman SHOULD expect when she is giving him the pleasure of her time. And what things he should NOT expect in return for that time. But I also want him to have expectations from her as well as far as her conduct and behavior. These things do not just happen to fall into the knowledge of most children. They have to be planted and watered.
My daughters need to spend time with daddy having conversation that exercises their brains, having their chairs pulled out, their doors being opened, their hands being held with no expectation of more to come. They need to spend time with mommy learning how to dress for a date and how to be cute, classy, and lady-like.
All of my children need to know how to ask questions that define a person's character and morals. What kind of contact is appropriate in public, and definitely what is NOT OKAY in private, most of all what kind of expectations their parents have for them when we are trusting them to leave our tutelage and engage freely with the world.
Yes, my children are only 8, 4, and 3, but my preference is to set the standard now, so that when the time comes they won't be willing to settle for just anything. There needs to be a foundation laid so that their definition of dating isn't developed by what they see around them.
I don't want my daughters to chase a ring. I want the men to be beating down their door to fight for the place of honor with my daughters. I want my future daughter-in-law to count it a high honor to be with a man that treats her the way he does and she knows that she is set apart from other women. My future in-laws will know that my children were bred and molded with an expectation to be intentional in their mate choice and that they were given to my children as a gift from God, with mom and dad's blessing all over it.
Today's youth have become a bit reckless and ruthless in the dating arena and it is up to us as parents to change that pattern for our own homes. Just because it is that way for most, doesn't mean our children are damned to that verdict. Will doing these things guarantee a certain outcome...absolutely not, but it increases the chances of improving the situation GREATLY.
I want my children to be the difference, but I have to be a different parent to encourage that in them. All friends and prospective dates will be subject to an interview and if you don't pass, it's a no go. We have to make intentional choices now as parents so my kids will desire to be intentional later. My chance to make an impact is limited, so I have to strike while the iron is hot.
I pray that all of you take time to decide what it is you want for the future of your children and then begin to implement those things into their life now. Don't wait, because it could become too late. Romance them now, so that when someone else is trying to romance them later, they will have a standard to measure from.
I know I use this verse a lot, but it applies to so many things:
My friend Dionne and I were talking last night, and I've had this discussion with others in the past. We as parents need to "date" our children. We need to model true romance, before they become interested in it. We don't just put them on bikes and expect them to know how to ride. We don't put them behind the wheel of a car and just say "hey, have at it!" We don't just send them outside and have them cross the street. We practice those things with them. So why do we leave dating up to chance? The reality is that most of our parents did it that way, and most of theirs possibly did too. But, the generations get equally wiser (with technology) and dumber (with common sense) all at the same time, which means parents have to become more diligent in their work, not be passive.
I want to spend time taking my son out, teaching him how to open doors (which he already does), and pull out chairs. I want him to understand the things a woman SHOULD expect when she is giving him the pleasure of her time. And what things he should NOT expect in return for that time. But I also want him to have expectations from her as well as far as her conduct and behavior. These things do not just happen to fall into the knowledge of most children. They have to be planted and watered.
My daughters need to spend time with daddy having conversation that exercises their brains, having their chairs pulled out, their doors being opened, their hands being held with no expectation of more to come. They need to spend time with mommy learning how to dress for a date and how to be cute, classy, and lady-like.
All of my children need to know how to ask questions that define a person's character and morals. What kind of contact is appropriate in public, and definitely what is NOT OKAY in private, most of all what kind of expectations their parents have for them when we are trusting them to leave our tutelage and engage freely with the world.
Yes, my children are only 8, 4, and 3, but my preference is to set the standard now, so that when the time comes they won't be willing to settle for just anything. There needs to be a foundation laid so that their definition of dating isn't developed by what they see around them.
I don't want my daughters to chase a ring. I want the men to be beating down their door to fight for the place of honor with my daughters. I want my future daughter-in-law to count it a high honor to be with a man that treats her the way he does and she knows that she is set apart from other women. My future in-laws will know that my children were bred and molded with an expectation to be intentional in their mate choice and that they were given to my children as a gift from God, with mom and dad's blessing all over it.
Today's youth have become a bit reckless and ruthless in the dating arena and it is up to us as parents to change that pattern for our own homes. Just because it is that way for most, doesn't mean our children are damned to that verdict. Will doing these things guarantee a certain outcome...absolutely not, but it increases the chances of improving the situation GREATLY.
I want my children to be the difference, but I have to be a different parent to encourage that in them. All friends and prospective dates will be subject to an interview and if you don't pass, it's a no go. We have to make intentional choices now as parents so my kids will desire to be intentional later. My chance to make an impact is limited, so I have to strike while the iron is hot.
I pray that all of you take time to decide what it is you want for the future of your children and then begin to implement those things into their life now. Don't wait, because it could become too late. Romance them now, so that when someone else is trying to romance them later, they will have a standard to measure from.
I know I use this verse a lot, but it applies to so many things:
Proverbs 22:6
New International Version (NIV)
6 Start children off on the way they should go,
and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
Don't let society set their standards for dating. Show them you care enough to train them in that area and to be actively be involved when the time comes. I don't want just anyone being good enough for my kids. And, I want them to say "If my mom/dad can do that for/with me, then I expect at least that if not better from you."
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Days 4 of 31 Days to Clean
Well I made it through Day 4 without a scratch. I honestly didn't complete the Mary challenge, but that was more of an I don't like doing things last minute type of thing. I have to prepare myself mentally for company, but that's because I tend to be a lone ranger type of girl.
The Martha challenge called for me to clean my oven out and also my microwave. I honestly dreaded doing the oven all night, but it was easy peasy!!! I turned the self-clean function on and me and my baby girl took a nap. Before that I just put a bowl of lemon water in the microwave for a few minutes to remove the gunk that was built up and I wiped it clean with a rag. I was finished in less than 5 minutes from start to finish. To be fair, my microwave was relatively clean, but I've got good information that even a microwave overloaded with splatter can be cleaned easily once some lemon and steamy water come into play.
I'm ready to end my night by doing my prep reading for Day 5 and I am going to see how I can put my Day 4 Mary Challenge on the calendar for either this weekend or early next week. I'm going to make every effort to complete every challenge in the book within the 31 days, because I want to reap all of the benefits.
For now, I am happy that with a little effort everyday, my kitchen is looking better than it has in a while. Even when I've worked hard at keeping my domain clean, I often neglect the daunting tasks like cleaning the oven and wiping down the tops of my cabinets. Now I just walk through my kitchen and smile.
In a few weeks I am going to see how to revamp my commission system with the kids to benefit me on a regular basis. They love it and I do too, but I think I need to have a regular paycard in place for them to just check off every week. :D
The Martha challenge called for me to clean my oven out and also my microwave. I honestly dreaded doing the oven all night, but it was easy peasy!!! I turned the self-clean function on and me and my baby girl took a nap. Before that I just put a bowl of lemon water in the microwave for a few minutes to remove the gunk that was built up and I wiped it clean with a rag. I was finished in less than 5 minutes from start to finish. To be fair, my microwave was relatively clean, but I've got good information that even a microwave overloaded with splatter can be cleaned easily once some lemon and steamy water come into play.
I'm ready to end my night by doing my prep reading for Day 5 and I am going to see how I can put my Day 4 Mary Challenge on the calendar for either this weekend or early next week. I'm going to make every effort to complete every challenge in the book within the 31 days, because I want to reap all of the benefits.
For now, I am happy that with a little effort everyday, my kitchen is looking better than it has in a while. Even when I've worked hard at keeping my domain clean, I often neglect the daunting tasks like cleaning the oven and wiping down the tops of my cabinets. Now I just walk through my kitchen and smile.
In a few weeks I am going to see how to revamp my commission system with the kids to benefit me on a regular basis. They love it and I do too, but I think I need to have a regular paycard in place for them to just check off every week. :D
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Days 2 and 3 of 31 Days to Clean
Yesterday was a bit of a jam packed day, so when I finally got a chance to sit and rest I did exactly that. Once I laid in the bed there was no getting back up to blog. Sorry y'all. lol
My Mary challenge called for me to come up with a way to give life in my home. It's funny, because my church has been on a mission to give life to people daily and I have found a number of ways to do that. I even encourage my children to make it a point to give life throughout their day, but when it came to my home I was stumped. I really was dumbfounded about the entire ordeal, so I asked my family for some suggestions about ways they would like to receive life. (Which turned out to be the assignment for day 3)
It hit me this morning as I went back over Day 2 that one thing I could do for my home is to FINALLY put up the Life Verses that I went to the trouble of picking individually, finding pictures to go with them, printing them, and framing them...only to leave them on top of my computer hutch because I was now waiting for the perfect day to hang them. I'm serious, for some reason the time just wasn't right...no clue what I was actually waiting for. But I got up this morning and did exactly that and it's funny how just putting up those little frames around my house really did give it life!!!
The other part of Day 2's challenge was to clean out the fridge and freezer. Freezer ,not bad at all...fridge was relatively decent. I was able to identify almost everything that needed to be cleaned from the fridge, accept the obscure furry greeness at the bottom of the cheese drawer. I can't begin to guess and I am pretty sure I don't want to.
For Day 3 I had to be a bit more daring. I am pretty short, so a step stool was not sufficient enough to battle the tops of my fridge and cabinets. That was a seamless task. I did however have a "DUH" moment when I needed to move all the medicines from the top of the fridge to wipe it down, and then realized that I could simplify the mess by putting them all in a container. They all fit perfectly and can still be conveniently accessed at the top of the fridge for the ones that are in daily use. But the mess is not out there screaming for all to see when they enter my kitchen.
It did also give me the opportunity to observe the things that I am more diligent in, like wiping down the cabinet doors. There wasn't anything thing on them that created shock and awe. It was just normal finger prints of the little hands that are constantly attempting to hunt and gather from my kitchen.
Like I said before I inadvertently completed my Mary challenge last night, but I am glad to know what little things I can do to make sure I give life to each of my kids. My husband and I had already begun doing something on a regular basis for one another, so that helps keep life in our marriage. I created little hint boxes (I love the Dating Divas), and so now we can put in our own ideas of what we would like and the other is free to choose what to do. It's a best of both worlds idea. We don't have to get frustrated about our ideas of nice being different. Each one of us has written specifically what we want. The other person just has to execute it. The items don't always have to be things, I know for me there are some acts of service in the box. The best way to show me that you love me or care for me is to 1)give me time to myself and 2)lighten my load as a Chief Home Executive.
I'm excited to see what Day 4 is going to bring. Doing this challenge has helped me focus on my physical and spiritual house, without becoming completely overwhelmed. I try to get other things done throughout the day too, but if I don't I find no need to fret about it. I accomplished my goal for today and burning myself out trying to be "patty perfect" is what gets me to the point where my home consumes me. So I am okay with taking this thing one day at a time. :D
My Mary challenge called for me to come up with a way to give life in my home. It's funny, because my church has been on a mission to give life to people daily and I have found a number of ways to do that. I even encourage my children to make it a point to give life throughout their day, but when it came to my home I was stumped. I really was dumbfounded about the entire ordeal, so I asked my family for some suggestions about ways they would like to receive life. (Which turned out to be the assignment for day 3)
It hit me this morning as I went back over Day 2 that one thing I could do for my home is to FINALLY put up the Life Verses that I went to the trouble of picking individually, finding pictures to go with them, printing them, and framing them...only to leave them on top of my computer hutch because I was now waiting for the perfect day to hang them. I'm serious, for some reason the time just wasn't right...no clue what I was actually waiting for. But I got up this morning and did exactly that and it's funny how just putting up those little frames around my house really did give it life!!!
The other part of Day 2's challenge was to clean out the fridge and freezer. Freezer ,not bad at all...fridge was relatively decent. I was able to identify almost everything that needed to be cleaned from the fridge, accept the obscure furry greeness at the bottom of the cheese drawer. I can't begin to guess and I am pretty sure I don't want to.
For Day 3 I had to be a bit more daring. I am pretty short, so a step stool was not sufficient enough to battle the tops of my fridge and cabinets. That was a seamless task. I did however have a "DUH" moment when I needed to move all the medicines from the top of the fridge to wipe it down, and then realized that I could simplify the mess by putting them all in a container. They all fit perfectly and can still be conveniently accessed at the top of the fridge for the ones that are in daily use. But the mess is not out there screaming for all to see when they enter my kitchen.
It did also give me the opportunity to observe the things that I am more diligent in, like wiping down the cabinet doors. There wasn't anything thing on them that created shock and awe. It was just normal finger prints of the little hands that are constantly attempting to hunt and gather from my kitchen.
Like I said before I inadvertently completed my Mary challenge last night, but I am glad to know what little things I can do to make sure I give life to each of my kids. My husband and I had already begun doing something on a regular basis for one another, so that helps keep life in our marriage. I created little hint boxes (I love the Dating Divas), and so now we can put in our own ideas of what we would like and the other is free to choose what to do. It's a best of both worlds idea. We don't have to get frustrated about our ideas of nice being different. Each one of us has written specifically what we want. The other person just has to execute it. The items don't always have to be things, I know for me there are some acts of service in the box. The best way to show me that you love me or care for me is to 1)give me time to myself and 2)lighten my load as a Chief Home Executive.
I'm excited to see what Day 4 is going to bring. Doing this challenge has helped me focus on my physical and spiritual house, without becoming completely overwhelmed. I try to get other things done throughout the day too, but if I don't I find no need to fret about it. I accomplished my goal for today and burning myself out trying to be "patty perfect" is what gets me to the point where my home consumes me. So I am okay with taking this thing one day at a time. :D
Monday, October 3, 2011
Day 1 of 31 Days to Clean
I got up this morning, pumped and ready to go in my 31 Days to Clean challenge. I read the chapter and completed both the Mary and Martha tasks. I even took an extra step and took pictures of each room, which I had hoped to post, but I just don't think I am ready to be THAT transparent with the world.
I wrote in one of my groups today how shocked I was with myself that I can be transparent about so many transgressions in my past, but opening up a world view to my home has put me in a state of paralysis. I am so uncomfortable with opening up that part of myself and maybe it's because I don't feel I have overcome it the way I have other challenges in my life. As God works on my insecurities in this area, I promise I will post pictures, because there is someone out there who needs to see that CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome *fly lady*) is as much of a spiritual battle as it is physical.
I thought out the vision for my home and completed it with a few verses from Proverbs 31. The Virtuous Woman has always been a biblical mentor of mine and I felt it was very fitting for her to take this journey with me. In setting the vision for my home I was able to establish why I want to change things and how it will overall affect my ministry.
I'm ready to get the ball rolling tomorrow. There are a few things I need to pick up from the store to make this journey as successful as possible, but for the most part I am ready to go and face both my Mary and my Martha head on.
I wrote in one of my groups today how shocked I was with myself that I can be transparent about so many transgressions in my past, but opening up a world view to my home has put me in a state of paralysis. I am so uncomfortable with opening up that part of myself and maybe it's because I don't feel I have overcome it the way I have other challenges in my life. As God works on my insecurities in this area, I promise I will post pictures, because there is someone out there who needs to see that CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome *fly lady*) is as much of a spiritual battle as it is physical.
I thought out the vision for my home and completed it with a few verses from Proverbs 31. The Virtuous Woman has always been a biblical mentor of mine and I felt it was very fitting for her to take this journey with me. In setting the vision for my home I was able to establish why I want to change things and how it will overall affect my ministry.
I'm ready to get the ball rolling tomorrow. There are a few things I need to pick up from the store to make this journey as successful as possible, but for the most part I am ready to go and face both my Mary and my Martha head on.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Cleaning House Spiritually and Physically
I know I've been hit or miss with this thing. I wanted to post last week, but I couldn't get my topic together mentally and then the week seemed to slip away from me, but I now have a challenge that I am starting with a friend in the morning and I think I would like to spend time blogging about my process.
Here is the back story: This past week I was feeling defeated about my house not being in the pristine condition I felt it should be in. I mean come on...I'm a stay at home mom, with 3 kids, a husband, and a social calendar that has gotten increasingly active over the past few months, but in my head it made NO SENSE that my house was not in perfect condition. There are times when it is what I like to call "company ready" but more often than not, my company doesn't like to show up with it is actually in that condition. (FYI: unexpected visitors is at the top of my list of things I absolutely loathe)
It's been bad enough at times, that I won't even call maintenance to fix something until I have had a a few days to get the house in presentable order, because I dare not let my maintenance people come in my home and think I am less than a decent homemaker. (there is a bit of sarcasm dripping in my voice just so you know.)
But in all seriousness, it began to take its toll on me, which it does from time to time and I really began to take it personally on a spiritual level. I prayed that God would help me in the area, because I felt like my home was a reflection of my life and my spirit...it could be presentable, but more often than not, it was a mess being protected by my ability to close people out of its walls. I felt very defeated and I just wanted God to show me how to not only overcome the feeling, but solve the issue.
Fast forward to my long awaited Girls' Night with a group of friends...once we got to really talking and giggling, the gloves came off and we got real and deep. We all divulged some part of our lives that showed our "mess", but it was so freeing to hear that other people felt less than perfect. One friend in particular happened to share with me an e-book she came across called 31 Days to Clean: A Martha House the Mary Way. www.amazon.com/dp/B004W3UK4M/?tag=googhydr-20&hvadid=13867154739&ref=pd_sl_2jdxvxcsl2_e She showed it to me because of the fact that I have been an advocate for being a life-giving Christian and there was a section on how we need to be life-givers. Little did she know that by handing me her cell phone to look at that book, she was answering a prayer for me that was eating me up on the inside.
One of our other friends immediately jumped in to help me figure out how to get the kindle app on my phone and I was able to download the sample. I went home that night and read all 125 of the sample pages and talked to my husband about ordering the whole book. He agreed and I did it, and my friend and I decided Monday morning we would start working this thing together, in an effort to renew our homes and our spirits.
This is at least the 2nd time God has used this woman to show me how not alone I really am in this season of my life and looking at the 2 of us, you would guess our lives were like night and day. (I know that's what I assumed). But, we have so much in common and it's those struggles that can seem so little and maybe even a bit stupid to some, that I feel God has blessed me with her to be the one person who truly understands.
I'm excited to take this journey with her and I am equally as excited to share this journey with all of you. I know there is someone else out there who needs this and is going to benefit from whatever growth I get from this, because they will see themselves in it. I'll be back tomorrow to let you know how well Day 1 of my 31 Days to Clean goes.
Here is the back story: This past week I was feeling defeated about my house not being in the pristine condition I felt it should be in. I mean come on...I'm a stay at home mom, with 3 kids, a husband, and a social calendar that has gotten increasingly active over the past few months, but in my head it made NO SENSE that my house was not in perfect condition. There are times when it is what I like to call "company ready" but more often than not, my company doesn't like to show up with it is actually in that condition. (FYI: unexpected visitors is at the top of my list of things I absolutely loathe)
It's been bad enough at times, that I won't even call maintenance to fix something until I have had a a few days to get the house in presentable order, because I dare not let my maintenance people come in my home and think I am less than a decent homemaker. (there is a bit of sarcasm dripping in my voice just so you know.)
But in all seriousness, it began to take its toll on me, which it does from time to time and I really began to take it personally on a spiritual level. I prayed that God would help me in the area, because I felt like my home was a reflection of my life and my spirit...it could be presentable, but more often than not, it was a mess being protected by my ability to close people out of its walls. I felt very defeated and I just wanted God to show me how to not only overcome the feeling, but solve the issue.
Fast forward to my long awaited Girls' Night with a group of friends...once we got to really talking and giggling, the gloves came off and we got real and deep. We all divulged some part of our lives that showed our "mess", but it was so freeing to hear that other people felt less than perfect. One friend in particular happened to share with me an e-book she came across called 31 Days to Clean: A Martha House the Mary Way. www.amazon.com/dp/B004W3UK4M/?tag=googhydr-20&hvadid=13867154739&ref=pd_sl_2jdxvxcsl2_e She showed it to me because of the fact that I have been an advocate for being a life-giving Christian and there was a section on how we need to be life-givers. Little did she know that by handing me her cell phone to look at that book, she was answering a prayer for me that was eating me up on the inside.
One of our other friends immediately jumped in to help me figure out how to get the kindle app on my phone and I was able to download the sample. I went home that night and read all 125 of the sample pages and talked to my husband about ordering the whole book. He agreed and I did it, and my friend and I decided Monday morning we would start working this thing together, in an effort to renew our homes and our spirits.
This is at least the 2nd time God has used this woman to show me how not alone I really am in this season of my life and looking at the 2 of us, you would guess our lives were like night and day. (I know that's what I assumed). But, we have so much in common and it's those struggles that can seem so little and maybe even a bit stupid to some, that I feel God has blessed me with her to be the one person who truly understands.
I'm excited to take this journey with her and I am equally as excited to share this journey with all of you. I know there is someone else out there who needs this and is going to benefit from whatever growth I get from this, because they will see themselves in it. I'll be back tomorrow to let you know how well Day 1 of my 31 Days to Clean goes.
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