Many years ago I learned that our struggles and trials are not for us. They are for the people that cross our paths that will need someone who has been through something similar. And God has blessed me with many opportunities to see that. Ben and I have gone through some very serious marital issues. I've been with him almost half my life, so there were bound to be some growing pains since we were still both technically growing (If you asked us then though, we were grown lol). My mom tells me that we have truly been through the "for better or worse". I remember praying to God once that I didn't want to have gone through all of that for nothing. I needed someone else to benefit from those struggles because it was way too much to simply be a character builder.
God honored that request, and over time has sent me many wives who have gone through similar struggles or have struggles that I can at least comprehend due to my own tests and trials. And beyond that there are things I went through and spoke about that impacted someone else and I didn't find out til later when my words were kicked back at me.
I had a friend recently contact me. We were really close years ago and then things happened that caused us to drift apart. But every now and again we still reach out just to check in. The last time I think we talked was around 2 years ago. Well she contacted me recently, because some major changes have gone on in her life and one of them was similar to something we were both experiencing the last time we talked.
Most people who are really close to me know that I lost one of my favorite people in the whole wide world in Nov 2008. I struggled with that death so bad. The worst one yet and many things spiral effected behind it. I don't recall the exact conversation my friend and I had, but I am pretty sure my message was intended to be one more of empathy than encouragement. However, when she contacted me last week, she relayed that another event had taken place like the one we both went through back then, on top of some other struggles, and something I said to her back then brought her comfort now.
So I guess this is a 2-part lesson. Because, although my intention wasn't necessarily to help, but to empathize, something I said stuck with her. Lesson 1: Our trials, struggles, nor our blessings are for us. They are for God to be able to use us somewhere later. Lesson 2: Be very mindful of the words you speak. My mommy (Yvonne) always says she attempts to speak in a way that will not require that she has to go back and apologize. I know during that time I was going through so much emotionally that I find it hard to believe I was able to say something encouraging, BUT I thank God I did and my mouth was not used to speak something destructive unknowingly. And it has surely made me begin to listen to what I say to others, just that fast.
Romans 8:28
New International Version (NIV)
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.
There have been plenty of times where I could see zero good in a situation...Dale's death has been one of them. This situation was probably the first I can say that something about it has been comforting to me. But, God as usual had a bigger plan. That issue was not just for me. It was apparently for me to say whatever I said that day, so that God could bring it back to her heart when she needed it. And, I know that God uses things like that to be residual gifts. So now I know she will have something to pass on to someone else when they need it.
And I pray that God has used other situations, known and unknown, in my life to do the same, that he continues to do that, and that he will show all of you what your trials are worth to him.
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